How to be the Bestest Friend to a Pregnant Woman
Pregnancy can be one of the most wonderful experiences that can happen to a woman, especially if she is surrounded by friends who are supportive, loving, and nurturing. It would also help if the people around her know how to side-step the many land mines that could ruin the experience for her. Hormones and the adjustments pregnancy demands can really put the pressure on the soon-to-be mother and everyone around her. To keep the sanity and joy alive, here are a few tips on how to be the bestest friend to your preggy partner, friend, or relative. 1. Read up and educate yourself. You may be the last person on the planet to go through a pregnancy but that shouldn't stop you from learning about what she is going through. A physical transformation isn't the only thing that's going on here, changes are also happening on a mental and emotional level. Knowing the various factors affecting her will not only help you understand anything that happens out of character, but will also let her know how much you care.
2. Be available. She might need you for a sudden midnight chow down, a weepy meltdown, or a soul-searching philosophical discussion on the meaning of life. Prenatal visits, layette shopping, and other practical concerns may be intimidating for some preggy ladies as well! Whatever it could be, whenever or however it's going to happen, just be there for her. Your company is what she really needs!
Coykee Musni, mom to Amara, remembers how it was without her sisters, being the first of her girlfriends to be pregnant, and being in a male-dominated workplace. "At that time, my baby's father was my best friend. Pipo was a true partner throughout my pregnancy, present in all check-ups, shopped with me, talked about my mood swings and body changes. We experienced firsts together. It brought a deeper connection between us that is now our solid foundation as parents."
3. No judgement. She's going to say, do, eat, and wear things you may never have thought she would. Take all of it with a dash of humor and understanding. Your formerly stiletto-wearing fashion dish may suddenly feel that flip flops and sack dresses are the best things that ever happened to her. And for her changing body, it really is! Accept her cravings and her responses, as long as her safety and health are not compromised. After all, what's a quirk or two in the name of love and peace?
Brand new mommy to Tala, Lette Lazaro shares, "My friend Haydee was super great! From accompanying me if I need some company, to listening to my rants or fears about being a parent, she was never condescending."
4. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Pick your words carefully or run the risk of an explosion of apocalyptic proportions. Don't say a thing about green mangoes and chocolate ice cream not going together either, if you value your life.
This goes for whatever the new parents are deciding for their family too, whether the general populace agrees with it or not. "When I got preggers, I announced to the world I'm preggers, I'm loving it, and no ain't getting hitched yet,” says Coykee. “Pregnancy is always a gift and decisions should be supported or allowed to be given time."
5. Supply humor and variety Laughter is important in everyone's life and more so in the infanticipating lady. Happy feelings improve outlook and general well-being, helping keep the blues away.
Lette adds, "It's important to really be her friend, not just a mommy support. Most of the time, especially for new moms, they want a semblance of 'pre-preggy normalcy time', so talking about stuff other than kids and the new adventure is also important. I remember, Haydee and I promised not to smother each other with just baby-related talk. It's important for us to still have a life outside of being a mom."
Women shopping image courtesy of nenetus at FreeDigitalPhotos.net Coykee's photo by Gabriel Tanabe Haydee's photo by Belinda Sato