Secrets of a Successful Marriage
Married couples may face any number of challenges, big and small, through the course of a year. From dealing with pushy relatives to managing runaway expenses, couples need to agree on a common course of action so that such challenges may be resolved smoothly. Of course, this is better said than done. Often enough, one spouse may have a different idea on how best to manage specific situations leading to disagreements and sometimes, even conflicts. In their talk, How to Face Life's Challenges Together, at the Kerygma Conference 2016, preacher and best-selling author Bo Sanchez and his wife and partner Marowe share insights they've gathered over having been married for 14 years. They have two children, Benedict and Francis.
#1 Dream together
It is important for spouses to share dreams with each other, says Bo. Every year, for example, Bo makes a dream board where he puts all of his aspirations. He also writes down his plan to attain his dreams. Seventy-five percent of his dreams, Bo admits, usually revolve around business and ministry. The remaining 25 percent, however, is all about Marowe.
"And we're on an airplane,” he says, referring to his dreams of travelling with his wife.
"A part of your dream should be about the marriage.”
But spouses shouldn't stop at drawing up their dream boards. The next step is for them to share their dream boards with their spouses. Bo says, “You need to be together in fulfilling each other's dreams.”
#2 Schedule time together
Life has a way of eating up huge chunks of one's time. Whether it's work deadlines or home management snafus, there is always one thing or another that a person is busy with. Which is why, Marowe says, one has to be intentional when scheduling time together with one's spouse.
Just because spouses live under one roof does not necessarily mean that they would have time together. It doesn't always turn out that way. At times, it is just too easy to get lost in one's work or in one's children.
Family time should be sacred, says Marowe.
Bo says, “Once a week, we have a date night, and I look forward to it. I also have dates with my boys. If you have more than two children, you can have group dates with them.”
#3 Grow together
Last but certainly not the least, spouses need to support each other's growth, from the professional to the spiritual.
It's natural for spouses to look at each other for warmth, comfort, and reassurance, but it is also good for spouses to look forward and work towards a shared vision.
"You should be aspirational,” Bo says.
Part of the growing up process is accepting each other wholly and fully. Every person has his own set of strengths and weaknesses, and the sooner that his spouse accepts that, the better.
Marowe reveals, for example, that Bo tends to get lost in his own world when he's in front of the computer. “Sometimes, I have to shake him back to earth,” she says.
But Marowe, of course, has accepted this little quirk of Bo's wholly and fully. And their marriage is definitely all the more better for it.
Bo and Marowe's photo from Bo's Facebook